I can still remember the day when I accompanied my dad to the hospital to have a colonoscopy. He was losing weight and appeared unwell. He was always the uncomplaining type. Always had his family needs upmost in his mind. He was groggy from the drugs and was lying on the bed when the doctor summoned me nearby. ‘It’s bad news. Your dad had cancer’. My mom was there too. She couldn’t believed it. I, who was a free thinker had on the night before got down on my knees to pray fervently that what I suspected will not come true. My prayers were not answered that night.
The doctor’s words still rang clear in my ears. Somehow, I did not broke down and was completely composed and remembered calling my husband to inform him of the bad news. He was totally shaken. My emotions were well-kept deep inside. I looked at my dear dad lying on the bed who looked so weak and f ragile. This is the same man who held my hands during my childhood days, who protected me, who comforted me, who advised me…And now I was losing him rapidly it seemed as he had the last stage of cancer. Back home alone with only the walls for company, I broke down completely and cried my heart out.
It’s been 5 years and I am still tearing up when I wrote this. Time does not heal, only blunt the pain a little. I still think and missed him terribly – his comforting presence, his humourous laughter, his advise…
My dearest and beloved dad shall always have a special place in my heart. I wished he could have spent longer time with my sons. They have surely missed a great grandad. May he rest in peace in heaven now.
