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Posts Tagged ‘children’

A week or so ago, a pretty little greyish pigeon appeared outside my doorway. Upon closer inspection, I found a tiny egg. Why, the dear bird is a mum. I noticed that she never flew as one wing drooped towards the ground. Soon I got used to her routine. By day, she will be on the right corner of my house amidst the broom and dustpan and by night, she will be nestling her egg beside my doorway oblivious to my comings and goings. Or perhaps she had to choice but to stay put for her egg’s sake.

I must say that I had gotten used to her presence so much so that I had taken to feeding her with rice every morning and even put a mug of water for her. Why, she even took to looking out for me and will come near me when I scatter the rice! Later I noticed a brown pigeon hovering nearby. Hmm, her better half I imagine.

Until that fateful day where I scrubbed the floor as I could not stand the bird droppings. She quickly hurried to her egg while I washed the floor. I did not washed the part where her egg was as I did not want to disturb that area. Unfortunately I must have frightened her as later in the night, she was no longer with her egg. She was nowhere to be found.

I could not believe how crushed and sad I felt upon the realization that she was gone. Yes, the next day I still put some rice in the hope she will appear but she did not come. Instead, the rice was eaten up by some sparrows. Darn, how could I have gotten so fond of some nameless winged feathered creature? Why did I have to washed the blasted floor and in the process frightened her off? The thought strike me that maybe she could have left for some other unknown reason. I just feel so bad when I see the solitary egg by my doorway.

I hope she will come back. Till then, I wish her well for she had to leave her egg behind.

Note to self : Stop being such a softie at heart.

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He is eleven years old and is adamant not to go camping. I understand his feelings and fears. He is pretty much like me when I was a child. Insecure, painfully shy, timid. You get the picture. I wanted to get him out of his shell and learn to be more confident of himself and his abilities. At home with his family he is playful and likes to engage me in his football conversation. Oh yes, he is absolutely crazy over dogs and most kind with them. With other people, he like a tortoise in its shell, save for a few handful of his school friends.

How am I going to instill confidence in him? Opportunity came in the form of a camping trip held in his school compound. Perfect for a first time experience. This should be safe. At least it is not in some remote  jungle or near a flowing river. Still I was apprehensive. He is completely clueless. I am his mother but I know his shortcomings. I went shopping to buy the camping necessities.

The day came with him still protesting. ‘You don’t love me’, ‘you hate me’, ‘you just want to get rid of me’ were just some of the accusations thrown at me. Like the doting mother that I am, I smile lovingly and reassured myself. Of course, he does not mean a word that was uttered. Surely he will thank me for it later after successfully going through the ‘ordeal’.

My son wore his camping attire reluctantly and slung his bag over his drooping shoulder. He acted like I was sending him to the gallows. I walked with him to the meeting place. Not even one familiar face. This added to his nervousness and mine. More than a hundred students attended. Surely there was a familiar face somewhere. Reluctantly I left him. Doubts crossed my heart. Will he survive by himself? Will I? Will my younger son stopped grinning since we left his elder brother at the camp?

It was a very long night. At the crack of dawn, I got up. I had to subdue my impulse to rush to school to check on him. I told myself strictly to let go and consoled myself that he will be fine. I conjured a rosy picture of him chatting with his friends and having a midnight adventure. But it was no use. I had to go to school to sneak a peek.

Amid the numerous tents, I scoured the many sleeping bodies plus just as many early owls looking for my son. Panic hit me. He was just simply not there. I went to the field hoping to see him playing football even though I know he was not the sporty type.  As expected, he was not there. Wait a minute, there was a Talent Competition about to start. Maybe he has gone to support his friends who were taking part. Just in time to see his friend singing a One Direction son. By then, I was barely coherent. Where was he? Visions of him huddling in a corner and crying to himself came to my mind. He must have hated it and was desperate to escape!

I combed the school compound and finally found him in the Multimedia Room listening intently with other students to a leadership talk. My dear boy taking down notes and having that familiar frown in the middle of his forehead when he was concentrating.  I caught his eye and waved happily to him. Boy, was I relieved! He was adjusting to his new life! I hope he savoured his new-found independence. I went home. My mission accomplished. He survived the first night! And so did I!

The second night came. Oh dear, will he able to sleep? Will I? Will my younger son stopped acting so happy without his elder brother around? This time I resolved not to rush over to school and proud to declare that I kept my composure the whole day.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the day came when it was time to fetch him home. There he was, looking none the worse, patiently waiting for me. My heart soared when I saw him. He started telling me one by one his friends left because they could not stand the rigours of the camp. But he did not call me to fetch him before the camp ended because he was very sure I would not entertain such a request. Yes, absolutely. Whatever we started we have to see it through despite the hardship. We reap what we sow. He even had to perform in front of an audience and my heart burst with pride. Despite his paralysing fear of an audience, he managed to pull it off. He has learnt teamwork, persistance, courage, patience and found his inner strength. I was absolutely so proud of him.

You did it! I told my son. Will you go to another camping trip the next time your school organize one? His answer : Absolutely – only in my dreams, mum!

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